Thanks, But......No Thanks

While today is Thanksgiving and a day for family and friends to come together to reflect gratefully on their blessings, we must constantly remain vigilant for the evil that lurks within us. I have practiced juvenile dependency law and family law for 15 years and thought I had seen everything, but truth is stranger than fiction. Sometimes it is the truth in your own life that is strangest of all.

After every holiday, comes an increase of allegations of abuse against children by friends or family members. For obvious reasons, the combination of food, family togetherness, and alcohol can lead to impaired judgment among people we should most be able to trust. Working as minors' counsel, I have seen too many holidays end with detentions and filings of domestic abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse. It is the sexual abuse that is most insidious and unforgivable as it masquerades as love.

This came home to me this year as two supposedly dear members of my extended circle of friends were revealed to be predatory sexual perverts. These were men who were looked up to and admired within our communities. Men who were successful and appeared to have everything in life. Men who had beautiful wives and were the envy of all around them.

I was astounded and horrified by the revelations. The worst thing was that I was not really surprised. Did you ever know someone who just made you feel uncomfortable? Someone who complimented you profusely but looked at you just a little too long? Maybe there was something in that look that was just....wrong. I would call this the "ick" factor. My legal training demands that every person be given the benefit of the doubt until the evidence was in. I change my mind. The "ick" factor is usually spot on right. Let the judge and jury apply the law. When it comes to the children in my life, I am relying on my gut instinct.

One of these men was actually arrested and is now serving a very long prison sentence. But the other one is out and about and unaware that some of us know. Now, there is just not quite the right set of facts for a criminal or civil filing for this particular molester. Also, we love his wife and children and do not want them to bear the embarrassment of finding out. But he should be placed on notice. We know what he did.

So this Thanksgiving, I will be giving thanks for many things... but trust will not be one of them.